Pairing: Jaehyun x (female) reader ~ Genre: romance, fuckboy!au ~ Summary: He took the oxygen away from your lungs and you let him. You let him unfold you when you promised yourself you wouldn’t. You let him inside when you knew you shouldn’t have. He ruined you and you gave him permission to do so.
“Well it’s gonna work for me! She’s gonna fall into my arms just wait!”
You listened to the boys argue over the same girl they’ve been fighting over for the past twenty minutes. You sighed and tapped your pencil against your notebook. You didn’t want to hear about relationships anymore. The wound still fresh. It’s been four weeks and you were still heartbroken. You laid your head onto Hansol’s lap. If you closed your eyes would this nightmare be over with?
Hansol rubbed little circles on your hip. Although he’s done this plenty of times before it felt more intimate, but still in a friendly way. Thankfully it wasn’t awkward between you two. In fact you rarely talked about it. You were both aware of what happened and left it at that. Sex was sex. You two were close enough to keep things normal.
There was knock on the door.
“I’ll get it.” Ten said. “Taeyong?”
“Hey, can I talk to Y/N really quickly?”
You sat up and followed Taeyong out of the room.
“Here to tell me that I should’ve listened?”
“No. I’m here to tell you to give him more time.” Taeyong said stuffing his hands in his pockets.
“What for?” You asked curiously. You crossed your arms and leaned against the wall.
“To get his shit together. Just give him more time, that’s all I ask.” With that he walked away.
You didn’t get him. First he was telling you to break up with him and now he’s telling you to give Jaehyun more time. Maybe he liked messing with your head.
More time.
Four weeks went by and you felt like you couldn’t breathe. You drowned yourself in school work and took extra shifts at the cafe, but he still found a way to haunt you. You’ve given him more time, but what has that done for you? His presence was everywhere. It was as if you were aware that he was around even more now.
You drowned another beer and slammed the glass down. You needed to forget. You needed to erase him from your body completely. But you couldn’t, because you knew you didn’t want to.
“May I sit here?”
That voice. You knew that voice. Even when your mind was foggy and buzzed from alcohol you recognized that voice.
“No. Actually go ahead because I’m leaving.”
“Wait, Y/N!” The person said grabbing your wrist.
“What do you want from me, Doyoung!”
He stood there silently. You were sure you looked unpresentable. You couldn’t sleep so you slipped on Jaehyun’s hoodie and walked to the nearest bar that was still open. You weren’t one to drink alcohol, but right now you craved it. How else were you going to forget?
“I want to talk.”
“I don’t think you deserve that. Do you know what you put me through! Why is it that when I want to fully commit to someone I get someone like you? A heartless asshole who only cares about himself!”
Doyoung pulled you over to a booth. You didn’t have the energy to fight. You were done fighting. You wanted to scream, cry, shout. You were suffocating. Maybe this way you’ll get a taste of air.
“I’m sorry. I’m not trying to make your life difficult, that was all I wanted to say. What I did was unfair to you. I was your first boyfriend, but it wasn’t even a real relationship. I took that away from you, having a first true relationship. I didn’t think about what it would do to you.” Doyoung explained softly.
You looked for a hint that showed he was lying. Just something. But you found nothing except sincerity and sorrow.
“Why’d you do it?”
“You were a game to me. I’m sorry I treated you as such. You were just someone to mess with and brag about to my friends.”
“Do you know how badly you destroyed me? Do you know how long it took me to trust someone with my heart again? Yet I don’t know who’s worse. You or Jaehyun.”
“J-Jaehyun? So you have a boyfriend?”
Was that sadness in his voice?
“No. Not anymore.”
“Did you love him?” He asked curiously.
“Yes.”
“As much as you loved me?”
“No. I loved him more.”
“Then find him and talk to him. Demand an explanation. I don’t know what he did to you, but if you’re comparing him to me I’m sure it was pretty bad, but Y/N if you love him to go after him.”
“You don’t understand. He said he didn’t love me.” You said putting your head down on the table. The alcohol definitely making it’s way through your system.
“Bullshit! Get your drunken ass up and talk to him. Come on, I’ll even take you.”
Doyoung helped you up and led you to his car. This was risky, but you’ve been taking risks for three months.
What’s one more going to do?
“Jaehyun! Open this door right now!” You yelled.
“What the hell, Y/N!” Jaehyun exclaimed.
You pushed him inside and slammed the door shut. He stared at your demanding figure. Your hair was a mess and you were swimming in his hoodie. Your face was flushed and you were off balance as well. Were you drunk?
“You’re such an asshole! Do you know how badly you’ve hurt me?”
“Go back to your dorm Y/N, you’re drunk.”
“I’m sober enough to know what I’m saying and what I’m doing! When I looked at you I thought maybe this guy isn’t so bad after all. I thought maybe I could fall for him and I did. I fell in love with you and you let me!” You exclaimed pushing at his chest.
“Y/N-”
“All this time I was a game to you! I let you play me and you didn’t even care! I wasn’t even special enough for you to use different lines!”
“Y/N-” Jaehyun called again only to have you hit his chest and arms harder.
“I hate you Jung Jaehyun! You never loved me! You lied to me! You lied to my mother Jaehyun! I hope you’re fucking happy! You don’t love me and you don’t care about me!”
Jaehyun grabbed your arms and roughly pinned you against the wall. You could sense his anger radiating from his body. His grip would tighten, but loosen up repeatedly.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Y/N.” He growled.
“I do. You never cared about me. I was one of your little toys and once you were done playing with me you broke me into pieces.”
“Shut up.”
“You know what you are? You’re a coward! A fucking coward Jung Jaehyun! You had a perfectly good girlfriend yet because you refuse to let go of your past you decided to throw everything away! You’re a fucking coward!”
Jaehyun pressed the palm of his hand lightly against your throat, but still adding pressure. You pressed your thighs together, not wanting him to know how much it was actually turning you on. His grip on your arm tightened and stayed that way.
“You’re such a bad girl. You don’t know how to listen. You go out and get drunk and then you come here and decide to disturb my peace.” Jaehyun whispered in your ear.
“You don’t deserve peace. You deserve to burn in hell.”
Jaehyun let you go and ran his fingers through his hair.
“You know what Y/N, yeah, I am a coward! Is that what you want to hear? That I was too afraid of how I felt so instead I fucked everything up? That I cared about you too much and I didn’t know how to handle that? I did love you! I loved you more than I loved anyone and that terrified me!”
“You shouldn’t feel terrified when the person you love loves you back!” You replied.
“What if that person decides they don’t love me anymore and goes to someone else! What if they realize they can do better!”
You froze in your spot at his statement. You watched him sit on the edge of his bed and cover his face.
“Jaehyun…”
“I lied to you when I said I didn’t love you, because I do. But loving you scares me because you’re this angel who deserves the best in life and I’m this impure monster who only knows how to ruin girls. I thought that if I ended it I’d be saving you from me.” He explained softly. You stood in front of him, but his eyes were glued to the ground.
“You’re so fucking selfish.”
Jaehyun snapped his head up at your words. Selfish? How was wanting to protect you selfish?
“What?”
“Jaehyun, I didn’t want to be saved. I was happy with you. I am not Sunhi! Don’t compare me to her! I would never do what she did because I know how it feels. What you did tore me apart inside. It did nothing to save me. It killed me.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I did that you.”
“Just stop talking.”
You pressed your lips against his gently. He fell back and brought you down with him. You untied the knot of his sweatpants and gripped his hair.
“I wanna hear you say it. Say it for me and only me.”
“I love you.”
“Say it again.”
“I love you. I love you so much!”
Jaehyun flipped you both over so he was on top. His fingers trailing from your jaw to your neck to your side. His heart pounding in his chest. He leaned down to meet you in another kiss. This one harsher than the last. He hastily removed your sweatshirt from your body and moved you towards the headboard. The taste of alcohol filling his senses and clouding his head. He broke the kiss, his breath fanning against your lips.
“I love you too.” He whispered.
Although he called you as such, you were more than a princess. That title didn’t even do you any justice. You were his queen. His goddess. He wanted to cherish you until he breathed his very last breath. You removed his sweats and boxers from his lower half. Jaehyun discarded your panties and pushed your thighs apart.
“I love seeing you get all wet for me. Dripping down your thighs and onto the bed.” His finger running against your wet folds. “You’re so pretty like this. Have my cock throbbing for you already.”
“Jaehyun..” You whined as you searched for more friction.
“Patience baby girl. Let me admire you.”
Jaehyun smirked at the sight in front of him. Your body writhing underneath him. You leaned your head back groaned at the lack of contact. Your neck completely exposed. You parted your lips as you breathed heavily, swiveling your hips slightly. Jaehyun licked his lips and stuck a finger inside of you. A gasp leaving your already parted lips.
“You’re already wrecked and I’ve barely even done anything.”
“Do something then.” You challenged.
Jaehyun thrusted his finger in out. You reached out for him, grabbing onto his side. Your nails digging into his flesh. You weren’t gonna lie, you missed this. You missed being under him while he devoured every part of your body. Every inch of skin being marked. He added another finger to stretch you out further.
“Jaehyun please…”
Jaehyun removed his fingers and lined himself up with your hips. You wrapped your arms around his neck. Your back arching when he finally entered you. A stream of curse words leaving your lips.
“Fuck, baby girl..” Jaehyun muttered into the crook of your neck. His hips snapped at a fast pace. The rhythm making you crazy.
How could you have gone this long without him? Without his huge cock filling you up. Jaehyun you jaw. The further down he went, the bigger the marks he was leaving. Your tights walls trapping him inside. You didn’t know if it was the alcohol or the euphoria that surrounded you, but you felt like you were on cloud nine.
“I missed you so much, Princess!”
He sped up the tempo and began thrusting harsher than before. Your heavenly moans bringing him closer to his high. You weren’t going to last long. You could already feel your orgasm building.
“You’re doing so well baby girl. I love you so much!”
You hummed in response and gripped the bed sheets. Jaehyun pulled all the way out and slammed into you. The movement making you scream out. He continued this action and until you came. Your body too weak to move. The feeling of your walls clenching around him ruined him. Long white hot streaks being shot inside of you. He rode out his high until he collapsed next to you.
“I missed you like crazy, Y/N.” He said bringing you closer to him once he pulled out.
“I missed you too.”
You woke up to sunlight warming your bare skin. Legs tangled with someone else’s. You looked over to find Jaehyun still sleeping. His grip on your waist tightening when he felt you move. You noticed the silver band on his finger.
You realized he never gave it back. Now that you thought about it whenever you both walked past each other you noticed how his finger would glisten in the sunlight. He wore the ring all this time.
“Y/N?”
“I’m here. Good morning.”
Jaehyun brought closer to him. “I’m sorry. Please don’t leave. I love you too much.”
You kissed his lips and played with his hair. You couldn’t leave even if you wanted to. You were addicted. Jaehyun was your source of life.
He provided oxygen for your lungs to keep you from suffocating. He unfolded you and solved every puzzle. He was inside of your body intimately and it felt heavenly. He ruined you slowly, but you don’t regret a second of it.
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